Hope Springs Eternal in the Heart of a Dog

I love my job. I really love working with dogs and their families, shaping behavior on both sides of the equation so that there's a great outcome at the end of a training program. The toughest dogs to train are the ones that are the most gratifying when their behavior turns a corner and they're going in the right direction.

What always amazes me, is the hope that lies in the heart of a dog. Every day, your dog hopes you'll play with him. Every day, your dog hopes you'll give him a little special treat or snack. It doesn't have to be a "day's ration of food-sized snack", mind you, but a little nibble that makes him feel special. When you leave, every day, he hopes you'll come home--soon. And every time you come home, he hopes you're as happy to see him as he is to see you. Every day, your dog hopes for a special outing, a walk, some special play with his favorite toy, or a play date with one of his friends. Many dogs love to go for a ride in the car, even if it's just to mail a letter and come home. It's the hope that they have in their hearts: please take me with you!

Most dogs' worlds consist of the four walls of their house and their fenced back yard. That's pretty much it. Judging from the human obesity issues in our culture, our dogs don't get enough physical exercise. Most dogs love a good walk or some serious play for an extended period of time. They love to run, to jump to romp. They love exploring, experiencing new things and new challenges. Many owners are just plain lazy. They don't know that training their dogs can be so much fun, and they don't know what to train or how to do it, so the dog doesn't get to go anywhere because his behavior is so awful. Many owners don't teach their dogs, so the dog doesn't get any meaningful interaction with their owners. Many owners will play a little fetch, as long as the dog brings back the ball and dutifully drops it...like a robot dog. And if it's too hot or cold out for the owners, forget the play, no matter what the dog wants.

My job allows me to change all of that for the dog and the family. I get to teach families how to interact with their dogs in meaningful ways. When the dog's behaviors come around in a positive way, people naturally want to interact with their dogs more. They want to have them in the house, take them places, play with them. It's always a special treat for me when I see a dog who has been relegated to live in the back yard before training, turn into a member of the family who is invited to live in the house with his peeps. That's a dog who will stay out of a shelter, and who will defend his family if necessary. I love helping people see how much their dog enjoys learning, and pointing out how you can actually see the dog learn and problem solve for himself.

And when you think about it, dogs have such simple hopes: a snack, a ride, a game of fetch, some meaningful loving, snuggles, their favorite toys...maybe we should take a lesson from our dogs and and learn to hope for small things every day...our next meal, a car that runs, no matter how old it is, a special snack now and then, some laughs and play every day, a simple squeaky toy, hugs from those we love...what are you hoping for after reading this?

What's in a Name?

The other day, as I was driving, I started thinking about all of the various names of dogs that I've trained. I just really enjoy knowing why or how someone comes up with the name they give their dog. I've trained many with "people names," like Sam, Glen, Jeff, Henry, Annie, Sadie, Katie, Abbey, Mia, etc. And I've trained dogs with typical "dog" names, "Tiny" for a Mastiff, "Sandy" for a caramel colored dog, "Blackie" for a black dog, "Baby" for any spoiled dog, etc. There are the "cute" names folks give their dogs, "Gizmo," "Murphy," "Cupcake," "Banjo," etc. And there are names for places or locations, like "London," "Raleigh," "Dakota," "Winston," etc. The names that always intrigue me most are the ones that are unique to the dog or owner, like "Eggo," or "Sheet Rock," "Zubin," etc. I always have to ask about the story behind those names!

Sometimes, if the dog had a previous home, those owners just keep the name the dog already knows. That makes sense, and it sure simplifies things for everyone involved, including the dog! In my case, with my own dog, that just wasn't happening! My current dog, "Rugby," was a rescue. His name at the shelter was "Tank." I'll bet when you hear that name, you're getting a mental picture of a big, broad, really solid looking dog, right? Well...Rugby is a 19 pound widget, and that's dripping wet! He's hardly a "Tank" and we just couldn't keep that name for the poor little guy. I was going to name him "Turbo," because he's just a bundle of energy, and sort of bounces and blazes his way through life. Think of a whirlwind, and you're picturing "Rugby," all 19 pounds of him! However, my daughter just couldn't stand the name "Turbo" and set about finding a better name for him. Just so we're clear on this, Lindsay's idea of "better name" translates to: "name that Lindsay likes/wants!" I was open to new ideas, as long as it was something I liked and fit the dog as well. So, long story short, she found "Rugby" and it is a name that fits him well. He's like a little guy who plays football through life with no protective gear. He's rough and tumble, and goes all out when he approaches almost any situation. Just ask the birds and bunnies who live in our yard! I'm pretty sure they all call him "Rugby, the Scary Chaser" or "Rugby, the Barking Annoyance." On the other hand, isn't it all about perspective? I think "Rugby" sees himself as "Rugby, the Brave," or "Rugby, the Fierce," or "Rugby, the Great Protector,"...you get the idea. He just has no idea he's a 19 pound widget. He thinks he's an 800 pound gorilla whose main objective in life is to chase anything that moves, most often with a lot of barking involved.

It made me wonder about that perspective, and the attitude that comes along with it. If we all saw ourselves the way that Rugby sees himself, there's just not much in life we'd shrink away from trying. We'd press forward with excitement, enthusiasm, confidence, and maybe some excited barking too...just to pave the way for us and let the world know we were coming. How many times do we shy away from doing something we'd really like to do...all out of our fear over who we think we are, or who others say we are, instead of who we should know that we are. Sometimes, I think if I'm honest with myself, I'm more afraid of succeeding than I am of failing. So, I try to face fears on a regular basis, just to push myself where I'd rather not go. It's good to stretch ourselves beyond our self-made safety nets. And anytime I forget this...on a daily basis, Rugby goes wildly chasing a bunny or bird, barking his confidence the entire way...just to remind me of who I need to be too!!

Tails...

I guess my years of showing dogs taught me to always be focused on the structure of a dog, and their movement. There's no perfect dog out there, but the generally held rule of thumb is that a dog who can move reasonably well based upon their breed standard, has to have decent construction under all of the fur. It's been a very helpful principle to me as a trainer, because sometimes when a dog is being "stubborn" with a given command, it's not so much stubbornness as it is structure. Dogs that have poorly constructed hips, for example, may have difficulty sitting. Getting up and going down into a proper "lay down" position is going to probably be a lot more work for them, so training sessions that are short and sweet are just being considerate of our furry friends and their disabilities.

So today, I was impressed again today by Rugby's tail. He has really got one amazing tail! Few dogs I know have a tail quite like his! He holds it in so many different positions! It curls up over his back most of the time, not tightly, or touching his back, but in a nice, delicate, curved arch. It has fur that's probably 6-8 inches long on it, so it really looks like a big ole' plume, and it's rarely NOT in motion. He wags it back and forth from side to side over his back, but when he's really excited to see someone he knows, he'll spin it in a circle like an airplane propeller. When he runs, it's straight out behind him, like an extension of his back, and he uses it like a flap on an airplane wing, to help him slow down or change direction. As he slows from a run to a stop, it goes from straight out behind him to gradually curl up over his back into his "normal" tail position.

And what I've discovered, is that I think to Rugby, his tail is like a trophy. He really seems to like his tail! It's almost like a sense of pride to him, and when he wags it, you can tell that he's really proud of it. When I playfully grab it, or fluff the fur, he almost looks at me the same way that I would look at someone who messed up my hair. It's like "Don't mess with the tail!" Grooming his tail will generate a look of concern from him, as he doesn't really like those long furs brushed or pulled in any way. He almost seems to understand my saying, "I see you wagging your tail!" because when he's barely moving it and I say that, he wags it all the harder, as if to say, "Yup! It's my tail and I'm proud of it! Doesn't it look great?!" And his eyes will shine as he wags...

And what I started thinking, is that really all of us have some physical quality about ourselves that we really, really like. It's a sense of feeling proud about ourselves, not in a haughty, nasty way, but in a really nice, good, healthy way. It could be eye color, hairstyle, smile, physical shape or condition...the list of possibilities is honestly just endless. All too often, I think we all just focus on what's wrong with ourselves rather than what's right with ourselves. We live in a culture where plastic surgery is available to "fix" those unsavory physical qualities, so that we can look "perfect." But really, what's our "breed standard"? Where's the written description of what the "perfect" human looks like? Or how the "perfect" human should move? There IS no breed standard for the human race, so maybe we just need to lose the mental image we create for ourselves and find our "tail"--that one physical trait that we love about ourselves. I think we've all got a "tail" to be proud of, and who knows...loving one thing about oursleves might lead to loving more than one thing about ourselves. And what if that lead to loving others more too....and being more accepting of their imperfections, just as we've learned to accept our own? Loving in general is never bad in my book, and to think that it all started with a small dog's tail...

Sweet, Shy Molly

Saturday, I trained a really sweet Miniature Australian Shepherd. She looks a little like an oversized guinea pig, with a thick soft coat, and beautiful, soft eyes. She's just a darling, but she's afraid of her shadow. Walks with Molly have been no fun for her owners, because anytime something scares her, she turns around and heads for home. New people coming into the house are a threat to her, and she barks and heads for her safe zone, which is her crate.

It took her a while at the first lesson to accept me, but at her third lesson on Saturday, she was nearly turning herself inside out with excitement to greet me! She barked a very friendly, happy-to-see you greeting, wagged her little bottom as hard as she could, and quickly assumed a submissive posture with her belly up, begging for a tummy rub. I was quick to offer it. She's a delightful little dog, and my goal is to help her develop some confidence and overcome her fears of virtually everything. I also hope to help her owners understand how to help introduce her to new things, so that she can carefully investigate them in a way that will lead to acceptance rather than fear of those things.

She's coming along very, very nicely. There's one catch to her training though....as soon as she sees a leash or her training harness, she heads for a corner or a place to hide. She really does enjoy her training once we get into it, but she knows that she's going to have to deal with some of her fears when I'm there. Part of my goal as a trainer, is to stretch her out of her comfort zone at each lesson. I don't want to push her to the point of abject terror, mind you, but if she never gets stretched past her fears, she'll never overcome them. My goal is to create and foster trust with her so that she'll know that someone has her back when she's afraid. Over time, she'll develop her own sense of confidence and she'll be off and running with joy through life.

I guess what I've learned from this sweet little girl, is that fears are just never easy for any of us to overcome, but it's a whole lot easier when people you trust help you face them...that, and the right treat to reinforce the correct behavior!!! Let's see, for me....that might be chocolate...or cheesecake...I'm torn...how about a nibble of each??

Approach is Everything

Friday, I did an evaluation of a 14 week old Malipoo named Linus. He was just a darling little puppy, and when I walked in the front door, initally, all I saw peeking out of his owners arms were two little black eyes and a little black nose, through a little white mop of fur. His owner set him down to investigate me, and all he did was back up between her legs and offer a little puppy growl at me. If first impressions matter, I really failed at my initial attempt with this little guy! I crouched down to make him feel a little more comfortable with me, but he still growled and backed up even further. His owner started to pet him and soothe him telling him that I was okay and he was safe. Because I didn't want her to reinforce the wrong thing, I asked her to just leave him alone, and I turned my back to him. He stopped growling, and in a matter of seconds, he looked relaxed and curious. Once he reached that point, I extended my hand behind my back just a bit, and he immediately came right over to sniff my outstretched hand, and then moved in closer to sniff my shoes and legs. I was able to scratch him under his chin and moved around to the top of his head, all with my back to him. His owner was amazed at how quickly he came over to investigate once my back was turned. My approach to this little guy meant everything to him. It enabled him to either feel backed into a corner or allow him to be curious, to think that new humans are scary...or safe.

It's so easy to get in a hurry through life...expecting others to adjust to us, or rushing a first meeting so that we can just get on with other things. Dogs like Linus make me intentionally slow down, adjust my approach, and put the focus on the comfort of others, rather than my own. I guess that's not such a bad thing for me to experience now and again...

Luigi

Yesterday, I started training a darling Portuguese Water Dog puppy named Luigi...my first experience with this breed of dog. Luigi is blessed to have owners who adore him, and believe me, there's a whole lot to adore! He's a wonderful puppy, with an even temperament and few naughty habits! His owners are wonderful people who are gentle and calm with him, and eager to learn how to train him to become the dog of their dreams.

His primary naughty habit, is jumping up on people when he greets them. This is a very common behavioral problem that bothers many owners, so I'm very accustomed to correcting it. When I arrived to start his training, Luigi happily greeted me by jumping up on me, grinning from ear to ear and wagging as hard as his little puppy rump could wag! I corrected him for jumping up on me, and he looked a little surprised, but came back and tried jumping up again. Each time he jumped up, he was corrected, and each time he kept his paws on the floor, he was praised and petted. Interestingly enough, after a little while, he decided that it wasn't worth it to come and greet me at all anymore, because he didn't want the correction, and couldn't figure out what I really wanted from him. In short, his feelings had been hurt, and he wanted to feel sorry for himself and pout for a while, choosing a safe zone at his owner's feet, under a chair. At this point in our relationship, I had two options, if I wanted to go forward with any training. I could either make him come out and work with me, or let him choose to forgive me and come out to work with me. I always choose the latter, because I don't train dogs through intimidation. I want them to trust me and know that I'm safe and that good things will happen if they hang around with me.

So, I tried coaxing him out with non-threatening body language, sweet talk and basic little cookies that I knew he liked. It wasn't working. He laid under his owner's chair, looking at me with a very wary look, one that said, "Nope. I'm not moving from this spot. I don't trust you." In a short time, I knew I needed to change my tactic, and I got out a different type of treat...a meaty, beef jerky type of treat. I tossed him a bite. It took him a moment to find it and sniff it, but then he gobbled it, and looked at me for more. I tossed him another bite. He gobbled it up, and came to greet me...all four paws on the floor, wagging, and willing to forgive me for hurting his feelings. The rest of our training session was outstanding! He's a happy little worker, who loves people, treats and attention, but not necessarily in that order!! He's an amazing puppy who has a future so bright it would blind us!

The lesson I learned from this experience is one many dogs have taught me, but sadly, as a human, I'm sometimes slow to learn. Sometimes a friend or stranger hurts my feelings too, and, depending on how deep the hurt goes, sometimes I'm going to stay in my "safe zone" and observe from a distance. Sometimes, like Luigi, I don't understand who they are, and why they did such a hurtful thing to me. Trust comes slowly with me...especially after a deep hurt. I keep my distance. The walls come up and stay up. I don't always come out for non-threatening body language, or sweet talk, or basic, dry little cookies that I might otherwise like. Sometimes, when I've been really hurt, it takes a really big apology to fix the hurt feelings and create or restore trust. Flowers, a card, ice cream, chocolate, dinner out...you get the idea. No insult to Luigi, but I'm not big on meaty, beef jerky treats!!

The other thing that I'm seeing, though, is that when I hurt someone, I need to see if the hurt I've caused has put them in their "safe zone" too. Just like Luigi, I might need to look at my body language, and ramp up the "treat" to mend the fence and help someone else feel safe again. I might have to really work to create or restore their trust in me. All relationships are two way streets, and sometimes, it's just not good to leave someone in their safe zone for long. Luigi was quick to forgive, but I did have to work to bring him to a point where he felt safe enough that he could. Once he reached that point, we had a wonderful time together and a great training session with fun and some good laughs all the way around.

This week, without realizing it, I hurt my daughter. I completely misunderstood her level of hurt, and teased her, thinking she was joking along. It was only after a bit that she made it clear that she was hurt. My initial thought was, "Good grief! You are really over-reacting!" I was completely ready to just let her pout until she was ready to be over it. But, Luigi taught me, that you can't go forward until the feelings are fixed, and it's best to fix them right away when you realize they're hurt. I guess I need to get a card and a Starbucks gift card in the mail today...

Thanks Luigi! I'm a better mom because of you!!

Forward...and Introduction

Well...this is my first adventure into the world of blogging! I've always liked to write, and I've always been a bit of a deep thinker. One day, while I was driving, I thought again about how much I'd like to write a book someday. I've never really felt like I had enough to say to put between two covers that would interest anyone for 300 pages! My heart in writing this blog is really just keeping track of my own journey through life. I'm a professional dog trainer, so I spend many, many hours each week with amazing creatures who teach me so much about myself, their owners, themselves, God, and...well...life! I'm a pretty firm believer that God uses whatever is handy to teach us what He wants us to know. In my case, that journey is through my experiences with dogs. I hope you'll enjoy reading, and I hope you'll discover that God will give you your own life's journey, different than mine, but no less exciting, which can be seen through the lens of whatever happens to be your passion.